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Believing is achieving

After several years participating in personal development and transformational events, certain patterns clearly began to emerge. On one hand the techniques being taught were often truly amazing (especially when it came to hypnosis and NLP) and even thostrong treeugh people often reported what I call the BAM (Big Aha Moments!) of personal change and insight, they also often reported not being able to really take full benefit of these changes with them at the end. They felt that they were not able to carry on the buzz feeling created by these events or seminars because they found themselves back in their normal lives after having had just a peek at what would be possible for them.

Now, I believe there is amazing value in ¨peak/peek¨  experiences. The moment where you know that everything that came before  led perfectly to you realising that ONE thing that made all the difference in your life. We have all had them at some point. When we feel certain that things would never be the same… we would never be the same, but somehow life creeps back in.

While training as a therapist, I came across the concept of self-efficacy: the extent or strength of one´s ability to complete tasks and reach goals. I realised that this was one of the missing pieces to the puzzle.

These experiences brought people to a deeper understanding of themselves, but seemingly only through the techniques and the teachers/facilitators. The people were most often not shown how, in fact, it was THEY themselves responsible for all changes in their experience.

Evidence shows that if someone has the realization that they can change themselves in someway, this belief increases the likelihood and possibility of this change to actually happen (Stretcher et al., 1986).

They key to this is realising HOW your thoughts create your reality experientially and this allows you to build on your successes in a way that is replicable, which means you are in true control of your life regardless of circumstances.

In my time working with therapy and coaching clients, I found that the biggest take-away for them is when the ¨penny drops¨ and they realise that it was them all along…maintaining and creating the problems and just one thought away from a perfect solution.

Learning self-hypnosis is powerful  way to be able to access your Inner Mind. That part of yourself that controls belief, controls the ways that you think about yourself.

Hypnosis is a proven way of increasing self-efficacy (Barker et al., 2010). And when you realise that the fact that self-belief works as a personal experience,  it becomes an extremely practical life tool.

Some people say I have attitude – maybe I do… but I think you have to. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does – that makes you a winner right there. Venus Williams

Strecher, V. J., Devellis, B. M., Becker, M. H., & Rosenstock, I. M. (1986). The Role of Self-Efficacy in Achieving Behavior Change Health. Health Education Quarterly, 74–91
Barker, J., Jones, M., & Greenlees, I. (2010). Assessing the immediate and maintained effects of hypnosis on self-efficacy and soccer wall-volley performance. Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology32(2), 243–52. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20479480
By | 2017-10-15T19:38:07+00:00 October 10th, 2015|Life coaching, Personal development|0 Comments

Alchemy of Coaching: baby steps to quantum leap

I’ve heard the coaching relationship described as an alchemical process: the act of turning something ordinary into something extraordinary or special. It seems to me a truly magical working of the highest order.

It is special because at some level both alchemist and element have to decide to fully commit to the process, knowing that at the end of each stage, something will be left behind. The rest will be refined, clarified and integrated into something completely new. If all goes well

Lead is dull, inactive and passive. Gold is vibrant, moving and active in so many ways. At what point does the process begin? The moment when sincere desire and commitment meets focus and creativity. That is the bridge between the ordinary and excellent, the bringing out of true value.

The beauty of this metaphor is that we all know it is impossible to turn lead into gold…right? That would be like magic.

If you’ve ever seen Michael Jordan play basketball, it’s like he’s flying in the air.

Or Seen Philip Seymour Hoffman act, it’s like he totally morphs and becomes the character.

Or heard Paco de Lucía play… there is no separation between maestro and guitar, just sound appearing.

At the highest level of any field, it looks like magic.

At the moment of honest decision and commitment, there is a total union between elements not bound by normal processes. In that moment, regardless of circumstances and projected outcomes, the lead IS Gold. Dedication is not a restriction of freedom; it is the clarification of purpose in order to bring something new into the world.

This kind of value is not created, it is revealed and you are either ready for it or you are not.

“To end the greatest work designed,
A thousand hands need but one mind.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust, Part Two

By | 2017-10-15T19:38:07+00:00 October 1st, 2015|Life coaching, Personal development|0 Comments

FEAR, the other 4 letter word

 You know what I mean. That feeling of tightness in the chest and stomach, your throat closing, your hands beginning to sweat and that unmistakable impulse to RUN AWAY. It is not a fun state to be in, but the truth is that without that very natural body response, you wouldn’t be here.12042092_10156008693480304_1006875491_n

This totally natural instinct to flee is the reason your ancestors survived long enough to procreate…they got the right messages from their environment: run from wild animals, snakes and natural disasters! It is highly probable that the stimulation of the section of the human brain called the amygdala (Davis, 1992) produces this fear response.

When we respond to observable danger with fear, it motivates us to survive and that has served us well…yet as modern industrial society has evolved into the digital age and our gadgets have upgraded their hardware, we haven’t. Our environment has changed, but what is sometimes referred to as the primitive or reptilian brain remains firmly stuck in its evolutionary past.

The truth is we find ourselves over-stimulated and emotionally aroused by everything around us. If you turn on the evening news you will find a great many things to be terrified about: the economic downturn, your unhealthy diet, to terrorism (in all it’s forms) and the list goes on… We forget that most probably, if we look around us at this present moment and take stock of what is actually happening in our awareness, there is nothing to run from. No terrorist at your door, bogey man in the closet and certainly nothing to fear.

If you are truly honest with yourself, this body response is the result of light from the screen stimulating your visual-cortex with words and images that produce thoughts (conscious or not) that you believe. That’s it. But it is certainly enough to be a signal to flee fight or freeze in fear…False Expectations Appearing Real.

That being said, I have found that often our unconscious emotional responses like fear DO have something to tell us about our current experience. They can possibly be pointing us to areas of our life where we need to take action. Like someone knocking at the door, they are delivering a message and if we don’t answer the knock just gets louder and louder…we continue getting anxious, fearful and remain cut off from our natural resources of resilience and clarity.

A famous self-help authors titled her book ¨Feel the fear and do it anyway¨, I would like to change that and say feel the fear if it serves you. If not, let it go!

Hypnotherapy is a very effective way of triggering the body’s natural relaxation response and retraining the unconscious part of your mind to let go of unreasonable fears and phobias that you have learned. If you want to know more about it, please check out my web-site hypnotherapyinbarcelona.com.

Davis, M. (1992). The role of the amygdala in fear and anxiety. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 15, 353–75. doi:10.1146/annurev.ne.15.030192.002033

“Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.”   (Thich Nhat Hanh)

By | 2017-10-15T19:38:07+00:00 September 18th, 2015|Life coaching, Personal development|0 Comments